The school year is a new year for me
First to introduce myself, I'm Mary Beth, mother of 3 school-age kids, and I've been a SAHM since 1997.
Not only do the kids go to school (private Catholic FTR though we are not Catholic) but my spouse is an academic so the school year feels like a new year for me.
All of my kids are in school so I have childcare for part of the day. My spouse can generally cover the evenings. I am not working right now. I'd be interested but I've just started seriously thinking about job hunting. Too depressing to talk about right now but I'm beginning to look in that area.
I still have volunteer committments and a couple of part-time jobs to occupy myself so I'm not rushing into the workforce right now.
I'd love to see this community active.
An lj friend asked people to write about their hopes and fears for the coming year. I said this:
my hopes: that I will find ways to have more me time in my life - time to take care of me, to nurture who I am, to let myself grow rather than spending my energy helping Yikes grow. and that I will find ways to have more adult time with the adult people I love so we can nurture and strengthen those relationships.
my fears: I will let my responsibilities at work and as a mother continue to take precedence over me and my relationships.
One of the many reasons I don't want to have more children is that as Yikes grows I am slowly recognizing that I have allowed myself to become deeply engrossed in her emerging life in a way that has stunted my own life. Now that she is 3 and getting more independent I am beginning to see ways to separate myself and I am now longing for the time and space and emotional energy to re-start my own life in a way that includes this new identity of "mama" but does not preclude growth in the other parts of my self. I love nurturing Yikes, but it's time to start nurturing me, too.
I'm thinking about quitting my job. It's boring, going nowhere and pays peanuts. I know, what's not to love...
A little scary to think of being set adrift though. What to do next? Is there life after sippy cups?
You have some time now... or you're at least thinking about having some time.
How does it feel? How are you using it? Does it feel great or is it scary? Or both? Current Mood: curious
Months ago we went camping with some friends. It was a wonderful, relaxed time and I had a chance to do a good bit of thinking about my life and changes I wanted to make in it. My son was settling in to 5 days a week of preschool, which gave me (theoretically, at least) 20 free hours a week. It seemed like so much!
Over the last months, I've been realizing that not only don't I have time for changes, I haven't even has time to think
about changes again. The only way I can do it is to eliminate something that's in my life now.
Which is really hard to contemplate. Because for the most part, my life works
. I have numerous "jobs," but most have enough flexibility that they don't get too much in each other's way, and I can put some aside to concentrate on the others at my own whim. More housework=less writing (or vice versa.) More library work=less home cooking.
Where's the bad? Not much money. Not much recognition. Nowhere to advance to. Just the same old stuff to do til I die of boredom.